Own your defaults
Why the "average user" doesn't exist

March 18, 2025

Every piece of technology you use, from the #2 pencil to a supercomputer, was designed for someone — but that someone isn’t you.

It was built for an average user, a mythical person who doesn’t actually exist. Any company that wants to stay in business has to balance two things: making it useful enough to keep people engaged, but also structured in a way that keeps them coming back.

As Cal Newport observes, the best way to do this is to develop rare and valuable products. One of the proudest days of my life was the day I went to work for Hewlett-Packard and got my first name badge. This was when Bill and Dave were still around and partially involved. For 62 years, from 1938 until 2000, they built a reliable, repeatable, billion-dollar business on one simple principle by finding and filling niches -- crowded or not -- with rare tools that did really valuable things nobody else ever offered. As long as they did that, they were an outstanding standout.

Bill Hewlett almost went into medicine instead of Electrical Engineering. I can't help but think that today's healthcare would be very different if he had.

The problem with average defaults

Speaking of medicine, that's someplace where average reigns. When a doctor prescribes a medication, they don’t tailor it to you personally right away. They start with a dosage that works for the "average person" — even though nobody is truly average. Some people need more, some less. Some experience side effects. The prescription is a starting point, not a perfect fit.

Technology, systems, and workflows operate the same way. The default settings you inherit are designed for a broad, general audience — which means they’re rarely optimized for you.

• Your phone’s home screen was arranged to be familiar, but not necessarily functional.
• Your apps are designed to be engaging, but not necessarily efficient.
• Your work tools come with default workflows that may not match how you think.

These aren’t necessarily bad things — they’re just starting points. Sadly, most people never move beyond them.

How I design my own defaults

Instead of accepting defaults, I try to build systems that fit me. Some are technical, but many are just about structuring my life intentionally, around my own mental habits.

• I structure my day with a template agenda. Certain tasks are available at certain times — not because I have to do them at that particular time, but because that’s when they make the most sense. It’s not a rigid schedule, just a guide to help me make better decisions.
• I use friction as a natural priority filter. Most tasks repeat daily until they’re done. The longer I ignore one, the more it nags me. That annoyance turns into urgency — eventually, it outweighs the inertia, and I do it.
• I try to check my agenda when I change contexts. When I shift from one space or activity to another, I look at the list. Instead of forcing productivity, I let my system surface the right task at the right time.
• Even the missing pieces start to nag me. If I keep forgetting to do something in a certain context — like winding down before bed — eventually, the context itself starts feeling incomplete. That friction builds until I finally treat it like a real priority.

Why I design my defaults this way

I don’t structure things this way because it’s the best method — I do it because it’s most effective for how my attention and judgment actually work.

• My attention drifts toward what’s unresolved. If something stays on my list long enough, it naturally starts pulling focus. Instead of fighting this tendency (a fight I gave up long ago), I just use it.
• I don’t want to force decisions constantly. Instead of waking up and deciding what to do, I want a system that makes the decision obvious when the time comes.
• I work better with natural pressure than artificial urgency. Deadlines are fine, but what really works for me is building up just enough internal friction that the right task becomes inevitable.

This is really just learning how my mind works and designing a system that plays to its strengths and weaknesses.

📌 Social media: Make it a tool, not a trap

Want to stay connected without getting sucked into a doomscroll vortex? Remove social apps from your home screen and make them just inconvenient enough to force a conscious decision. Even better: set a browser bookmark for the one person or group that actually adds value. Everything else? Make it work to get your attention.

🛠 Overcoming drudgery: The 2-minute mind hack

Hate starting hard tasks? Trick yourself. Instead of thinking, "I have to do this," say: "I’ll do two minutes and quit if I want to." Nine times out of ten, you won’t quit — because starting is the hardest part. Once you’re moving, momentum takes care of the rest.

💬 Difficult conversations: Flip the script

Most people default to avoidance or confrontation. Try this: Instead of thinking, "How do I win this?" ask: "How do I make it easier for both of us to walk away feeling better?" Frame it as problem-solving, not a battle or competition, and the whole conversation shifts.

Always own your path

Defaults exist for a reason. In medicine, they help doctors make decisions before they know you personally. In technology, they make things functional for the widest range of people.

But you aren’t average, and in at least one way, everybody is above average. Find it, bottle it, share it. Your life will be better for it.

If you don’t set your own defaults, you’ll always be using someone else’s.